McCoy has been at a very fun age to talk to him about the adoption process a bit. He is obviously way more aware of what is going on as we anticipate adding to our family through adoption. I have been trying to let him help where he can, for instance today we are going to make some copies of documents for our agency and then mail them off. As I told him what we were going to do and how he could help, he got very excited.
He has asked questions such as "Where will our baby come from?" and "Where will the baby be born?" and "Who is the baby's birth mom?" Which I think are just wonderful questions for him to ask and easily answered age appropriately.
I think this will also help him to grasp a little bit more of his own adoption story as I tell him "We did this also when we were waiting to find you." It has also made him more interested in his own adoptions story and has asked a few times at bed time to tell him about when he was adopted. He also has really like watching the videos we took him as a newborn in the hospital with his birth mother.
We have a very precious video of C getting McCoy dressed to leave the hospital and she is pretty emotional as she is preparing to say good bye to him. While watching it once, McCoy asked me why she was crying and I told him that she was really sad to have to leave him and that she was going to miss him. McCoy is also crying in the video (he was being changed and he hated being changed as a baby) and asks, "Am I crying because I am going to miss C?" At that moment I had some very bitter sweet thoughts. I was proud of him for recognizing the sadness, and was proud of what he was coming to understand and I was taken back a bit with the realization that no matter how well we prepare him, talk to him about and teach him to love his story, he will no matter what have to go through his own grieving process at some point. And I hope we will have prepared ourselves well enough to handle it with care while allowing him to grieve when the time comes.
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