Her beautiful story in her own words.
The decision to place“Peanut” for adoption was a quick and easy decision for me. I knew that I would never marry the father and at first I kept thinking, “This is my mistake and I need to take responsibility for it,” (meaning raise him). However I realized within a couple days of knowing of “Peanut” that I needed to give him more. I wanted him to be raised with two parents. Two loving parents who had dreamed and hoped for the time when they could have a baby. I wanted him to be raised in a home with the Priesthood. I wanted him to have all the opportunities a child could have which he wouldn't be able to experience because of single parenthood. I knew that if I really loved this baby, I would want what was best for him, which would include giving him the best start at life I could....
It came time to choose parents for “Peanut”. At first I felt like maybe the caseworker should just pick one, however he explained many women feel more comfortable in their decision if they make it themselves. So I got online and started looking at couples from Montana. There were about a dozen couples or so from Montana. Right away the names Bryce and Brenley stood out to me. I clicked on their profile. Looking at their picture they looked like the ideal couple. I read their profile and was really interested in the fact they had large families. I thought that would be good for “Peanut” to be able to be raised around his cousins, in case the opportunity for him to have a sibling wouldn't happen. To keep things fair, I looked at the other couples and read all their profiles. I wrote down each couples names so I could pray about it in the next few weeks.
Day after day I would pray over each individual couple waiting for some prompting or feeling about each one. I was starting to get frustrated because I wasn’t getting any answers. That morning I had read a talk by Richard G. Scott about receiving answers to prayers. He instructed that sometimes the Lord lets us make our own decisions and then he can approve or disapprove. So I got down on my knees and prayed: “Heavenly Father, I would really like Bryce and Brenley to be Peanut’s parents.” I had this amazing peace and comfort come over me which I couldn’t stop the flow of tears. I knew that He had approved of my decision and I was so grateful for that confirmation. I called the caseworker to let him know I had made my decision, hoping that they hadn’t been chosen by someone else as I had taken a few weeks to decide.
Bryce and Brenley have always been so considerate about my feelings. I love being able to have an open adoption, and really get to know who my precious “Peanut” was going to. I love being able to see what he is up to now, as Bryce and Brenley have blessed me to be able to still be part of their lives. I know with a surety that I did the right thing by placing McCoy for adoption.
The day McCoy was born I had the most intense love for him than any other I have ever experienced. Although I had been prepared mentally and emotionally to not be attached and be able to let him go, it was honestly hard knowing that we would be parted. Hard is maybe an understatement. However, I knew that he would be accepted into the arms of loving parents. When they first saw McCoy I know that I was beaming because I was more proud of this baby than anything in the world and although they seemed kind of timid I could see the love and excitement radiating from their faces. I was so happy that McCoy had so much love. I knew he would be happy and loved and grow up in a wonderful home.
I have not nor will I ever regret my decision to give McCoy a better life. I am happy knowing he is happy and his Mom and Dad are too. I feel so blessed.
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